Can’t afford dentist, so wife got me drunk took advantage of me and pulled my tooth. Mother-n-law noticed that the hole from the cavity resembles baby Jesus’s crib. But I think my mother-n-law is nuts. Now I noticed last night my wife was trying to get the dog drunk so she could save more money on getting him neutered. Could someone “please” bid so I can afford a real dentist, get my good looks restored, get rid of mother-n-law, mean wife, and the dog and I can be left alone in peace.

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Have you ever gone to a garage sale, tag sale, estate sale or a Flea Market and purchased an item that you were unable to try out like a T.V. set and the vendor promised it worked, and you brought it home and when plugged in the piece either did nothing or blew up in your face? Have you bought out storage units sight unseen only to realize that you saved the management a trip to the dump.

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Submitted By Sherri B.

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Here is a truly unique opportunity for the winner of this auction and it’s just in time for April Fools Day!
Recently, much to my dismay, I’ve developed a rather large hemorrhoid and I can now tell you from experience that the reason the jokes are so funny is because they are all true. This thing really is a major pain in the rear! But now my pain can be your opportunity!

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Submitted By Kyle Webb

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You are bidding on a never used non amputee myoelectric arm. Due to the configuration and rotation ability of the hand, this can be either for the right or left side. The distal end of the socket is padded for comfort, and also has two myoelectric sensors for opening and closing the hand.

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Submitted By Chris

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You are bidding on a BRAND NEW IN SEALED FACTORY PACKAGING Finishing Touch personal hair remover!
Are you tired of embarrassing facial hair? Do you struggle to remove hair from sensitive areas? Introducing Finishing Touch, the new pen shaped hair remover that erases unwanted hair instantly and painlessly.

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Submitted By Kim S.

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Weight Loss Advertising Advertise My Success
Help me transform I will promote your Service, Supplements, Personal Training or Magazine
You are bidding on 10 “events” where I will promote your company where every one can see the drastic change you have offered me. Weight loss pills and services is a 33 BILLION dollar a year business. I can be your spokes person.

I will:……………………………

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Submitted By Rose C.

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VINTAGE DESIGN. 14K GOLD RING. SUBSTANTIAL WIGHT. ABOUT SZ 6 1/2 or 6 3/4. THE CENTER STONE IS A HUMAN MOLAR. FROM A DISTANCE IT LOOKS LIKE A CAMEO OR CARVED OPAL. HAS A TINY PALE BLACK CREEPY LITTLE HAIRLINE DENTAL CRACK WHEN YOU LOOK UP CLOSE.

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Submitted By Josh S.

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Ok, here we go, up for auction, one Stump Cast that I had to wear after my last revision. Granted, you can see that I’m a below the knee amputee. And this cast was put in place to protect my residual limb (aka stumpy).
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Submitted By Norm

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My Uncle Bob was a veteran of WWII. He lost an eye fighting for our country overseas. Most people that knew Uncle Bob thought he was a useless drunk but he was a hero to me.
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Submitted By Josh

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HERE IS WHAT LOOKS TO BE A SET OF WILD BOAR TEETH AND TOUNGE AND POSSIBLY A SET FOR A BEAR .

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Submitted By Joanne

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My Uncle Bob lost an eye in WWII. The government gave him a beautiful brown glass eye. It matched Uncle Bob’s real eye perfectly.

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Submitted By Kerry

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Care and Feeding of ERNIES LEG - Handy Reference !

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Submitted By SpiritSong23

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