I’m Selling my Husband’s Remote Control! (RCA SystemLink 4, batteries included, no manual) Why??? Because he won’t get up off his lazy butt! Because he never takes out the garbage! He won’t pick up his dirty socks! He won’t pick up his wet towels on the floor! He won’t cut the grass! He just sits there on his fat A@$ … with his remote in one hand… His beer in the other! He has driven my poor bird batty with that MTV!! Just look at him ….

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Submitted By S

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As mothers go, I’ve got the best. I’m not just saying that because she’s my Mom and she’ll be reading this. I’ve been lucky, yes even blessed, to have her. I was able to come home from school to a warm snack in the winter, she patiently waded through my young years helping me to find my way. I wasn’t always the best kid but she loved (and still loves) me unconditionally.

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Submitted By K

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Here is a truly unique opportunity for the winner of this auction and it’s just in time for April Fools Day!
Recently, much to my dismay, I’ve developed a rather large hemorrhoid and I can now tell you from experience that the reason the jokes are so funny is because they are all true. This thing really is a major pain in the rear! But now my pain can be your opportunity!

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Submitted By Kyle Webb

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My brother has been a vegetarian for over a decade. And like most vegetarians he’s healthy.. but a little thin. So..
I asked him the other day , “What would it take to make you eat a BIG OL’ steak.” To which he replied…
“NOT FOR A HUNDRED DOLLARS!!” HA! GUESS WHAT… BIDDING STARTS @ $101.00

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Submitted By Moses B.

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7 month old cup cake (untouched) from the July 20th 2005 historic unification of Royal Dutch and Shell, the sixth largest company in the world. With authentic paper tissue from the ceremony.

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Submitted By Muloongo M.

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>Dear Potential Bidder,
You are currently on the threshold of having a genuinely unique opportunity – the first of its kind on eBay or, for that matter, anywhere in the world.
I am offering the chance to have the story of your choice professionally written – and for you to own the copyright. The winning bidder will be able to specify:
Genre (e.g. thriller, fantasy, romance)
Style (e.g. dramatic, humorous, descriptive)
Character names and descriptions
Locations
Events
Reading level (basic, intermediate or advanced)
Approximate word count (up to 5000 words)

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WHAT IS THE AMERICAN DREAM?
SOME SAY IT IS OWNING A HOME!
PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE AUCTION

WE ARE ABOUT TO GIVE WHAT WE BELIEVE MAY BE THE LARGEST BONUS GIFT EVER ON EBAY!
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS?
HERE ARE A FEW HINTS !
IT HAS WINDOWS
IT HAS A ROOF
IT HAS DOORS

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Submitted By Jim

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LAST NIGHT, MY HUSBAND AND I WERE GOING FOR OUR USUAL NIGHTLY STROLL (WHEN WE PUSH OUR TWO BABIES IN THE DOUBLE-STROLLER TO THE PARK AND MAILBOX), AND WHILE WALKING DOWN THE STREET, ABOUT HALFWAY TO THE MAILBOX, I HEARD MY HUSBAND YELL “OWWW!” A LONELY CACTUS NEEDLE FROM A NEARBY CACTUS HAD STUCK TO HIS PANTLEG!

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Submitted By Kitty

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WHAT SOME???
Everybody likes a little Grass Grass is a little hard to come by this time of year So Im offering this Grass from the Beautiful and Big state of Texas. There wasn’t much of this around most is all dead and brown.

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Submitted By Kitty

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This is your chance to own my lucky eyelash! Remember that old wives tale that when you blow your eye lash away you make a wish? Well this eye lash made that come true! It was a cold February day, I was on the bus on the way home and a friend said to me ‘you have an eye lash on your cheek’ so I brushed it off and it went onto my finger, I closed my eyes and made a wish.

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Submitted By Andy R.

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You might remember me from my Jake auction a little while back. I had so much fun with so many of you that I decided to dedicate my Valentine’s day to one of you. This is not an in person date I am offering but a date of the heart and phone. First off, I promise not to accept any other Valentine’s date offer that might come along, Plus, I will call you (at my expense) on Valentine’s day for our phone date at any time or times that you ask me to (up to one hour talk time).

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Submitted By CC

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Yes, it’s true. I married the worst physical/mental/emotional specimen imaginable from Yahoo Chat back in 2000. Find out why, and what happened in this 31 page confession documenting our horrible 2 year marriage. Serves as a stern warning against online relationships and basic stupidity.

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Submitted By Bob

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